They told him it was just a “car ride.” The kind with the window cracked open and the breeze in his fur. Maybe a stop for a puppuccino. Maybe a trip to the feed store where everyone says he’s such a good boy.
But oh no. Not this time. This was The Betrayal.
Poor Charlie—alias “Donut Dog,” also known in certain circles as “Sir Licks-a-Lot”—was led into the vet’s office all wag and wiggle. He came out looking like a lampshade from a discount furniture store. You could see the disbelief in his eyes. The Great Pyrenees of the North Woods, protector of sheep, conqueror of coyotes, reduced to a walking satellite dish.
The official charges read:
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Resisting staples
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Multiple cone destructions
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Unauthorized removal of surgical closure
Translation: he popped his stitches, ate the replacement cone, and staged an escape that would’ve made Houdini proud.
His sentence? Cone confinement. Indefinite.
Parole eligibility: Pending good behavior (unlikely).
We tried the soft collar. He shredded it. We tried the inflatable one. He used it as a pillow. Finally, we resorted to the industrial-strength plastic model—the “satellite of shame.” He bumps into walls, takes out furniture, and clears a coffee table with a single head turn. You haven’t lived until you’ve been woken up at 2 a.m. by a dog’s cone scraping your bedpost like a haunted violin.
Still, justice—or at least veterinary law—must be served. For now, the inmate shows no remorse. He’s plotting his next breakout, likely involving duct tape, raw determination, and poor judgment. But deep down, I know he’ll make parole eventually. After all, no matter how ridiculous he looks, I can’t help but love that goofy face staring out from behind the plastic.
Cone or not, he’s still my hero… just slightly more aerodynamic.
 |
| Tricked, Snipped, and Framed |
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©2019 Sandy Davis | American Way Farm
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