Phone rings. Because of course it does—right in the middle of something important, like watching the goats commit petty crimes from the kitchen window.
Me: Hello?
Caller: Hello, may I speak to Mr. or
Mrs. Davis?
Me: This is Mrs. Davis.
Caller: Good
morning, Mrs. Davis! I'm calling from Sears & Roebuck. How are
you this morning?
Me: I'm fine. But I should tell you—I
don’t accept unsolicited or telemarketing calls.
Caller: Oh
no, this isn’t a telemarketing call. I'm just calling to let you
know your freezer warranty is about to expire.
Me: Well,
thank you for telling me that. Goodbye.
Caller: Wait—I'm
calling to offer you an extended warranty!
Me: Ah, so let
me get this straight—you weren't invited to call AND you're trying
to sell me something. Congratulations! You’ve achieved the Unholy
Telemarketing Trinity: unsolicited, unwanted, and uninteresting.
Remove me from your list and don’t call again.
Caller:
Wait, wait—
Me: (click)
Now, here’s the thing—if my freezer has survived this long out in a barn that sees -40°F winters, summer humidity thick enough to swim in, and the occasional goat nibbling on the cord, I think it’s already proven itself. It doesn’t need a warranty—it needs a trophy, maybe even a plaque on the barn wall, and possibly a therapist for everything it’s been through.
That freezer has earned veteran status. It’s seen power outages, ice storms, and one memorable incident involving a mouse with ambition. And yet, it soldiers on, humming proudly beside the hay bales.
Moral of the story: If you’re going to try to sell me an extended warranty on an appliance older than some of my grandchildren, you’d better at least open with flattery—or better yet, chocolate. Preferably both. Because if my freezer can outlast four dogs and a decade of farm chaos, it’s clearly made of sterner stuff than your sales pitch.
Enjoyed this tale from the barnyard?
Don’t miss the next round of critter chaos — subscribe here or follow on Facebook.
🐑 If this story made you smile, please click one of the gray share buttons below instead of copy-paste—it helps folks find their way back here for more tales from the farm.🐓
©2016 Sandy Davis | American Way Farm
No comments:
Post a Comment