WAR! Wasps — An Unavoidable Part of Country Life

BATTLE CHECKLIST:

Battle suit - check (Honey, does this outfit make me look fat?)

Weapons - check

Secure all civilian personnel safely away from battlefield - check

Communicate to all other military personnel as to their duty status, positions and backup procedure should their assistance be needed - check

Locate enemy stronghold - check

Locate exact location of enemy headquarters - check

Report - Mission accomplished. Enemy has been eliminated.

Operation Hornet Eradication commenced at 0900 hours. The enemy: a wasp nest hidden deep inside a calf hutch. The objective: neutralize the threat without casualties—human, goat, or canine.

I suited up for battle like a seasoned field operative. Head to toe in my trusty bug suit—complete with gloves, boots, and a face shield that made me look like a cross between a beekeeper and an astronaut on a hazardous alien planet. I armed myself with a can of wasp spray powerful enough to drop a small helicopter and took a deep breath. This was war.

Before proceeding to the front lines, I secured the perimeter. The goats and dogs were safely behind a fence, watching intently, their expressions a mix of curiosity and “there goes the crazy human again.” I could practically hear them placing bets on how fast I’d run if things went sideways. The air was tense. I gave a quick salute to my loyal spectators and advanced toward the target.

Now, I’d love to say it was a one-and-done mission—but no, there were actually two nests. Two separate fortresses of buzzing, stinging mayhem. The first one was tucked in deep, camouflaged under the plastic ridge of the calf hutch. The second was in the next shelter over, like they’d franchised their operation.

And yes, I’ll admit it—I took the pictures of the nests after I’d eliminated the enemy. Go ahead and call me chicken. Even wearing my full bug armor, there was no way I was sticking my head inside that hutch while those things were still alive and angry. I waited long after the buzzing stopped before approaching, camera in hand, like a war correspondent documenting the aftermath.

But I’ll give myself credit—I did remember the camera this time. Progress! And as far as missions go, it was a complete success. No stings, no panic, and no survivors on the wasp side. Just another day on the farm, where even a bug battle can feel like a full-scale military operation.

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©2009 Sandy Davis | American Way Farm